Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
