well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
