During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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