Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
