maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
