I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
