fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Sext me about skeletons
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
