Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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