do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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