Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
