i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize