I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize