I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize