Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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