it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Will exercising make me less horny?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
