we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
