my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
