dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
