just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Randomize
