don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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