In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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