took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
