the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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