Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
3pm strippers are depressing
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
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