k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
