this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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