What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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