there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
