I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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