Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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