Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
