this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
