I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I fill condoms, not promises.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
