I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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