It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
