girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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