2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
