I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
