Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
