i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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