Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
