i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
