you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
