I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
