You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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