I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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