There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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