did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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