Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
where are my eyebrows?
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