Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Randomize
