Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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