Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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