i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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