Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
should my penis look like a turkey
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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