When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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