Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
