Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
