Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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