whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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