Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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