She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
