Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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