Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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