the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
