i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
