May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
