I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
