ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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