you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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